In this entry I will explain why my suitemate Megan Miller’s behavior is acceptable as a result of her horoscope, Virgo. Here are 10 things that Megan does, but the stars excuse.
1 Megan is constantly obsessing over how clean her room is. Every time her roommate, and my other suitemate, Libby puts something on the floor, Megan waits until about a minute after she leaves before moving it and then vacuuming feverishly. This is easily explained away by the average Virgo’s tendency towards self-perfection. Virgos feel the need to perfect everything around them and also to attain a sense of perfection.
2. Speaking of cleaning, Megan is also very focused on keeping up an appearance of self-cleanliness. Well not only an appearance. She is constantly primping, showering, and applying all sorts of mysterious lotions, creams, and astringents. Her drawers are overloaded with an array of hygiene and cleaning products. She has even told me stories of her own neurotic tendency as a child to stand in front of the mirror and brush her teeth for an hour at a time, multiple times a day. Extreme, I think yes. This sort of focus on attaining cleanliness is but another feature of the Virgoan personality.
3. Megan also has a tendency to be a little critical of others. Others being sometimes me. Maybe not explicitly, but I can see it in her eyes. Also, her scathing criticisms of others may give one the shivers…well, that is sort of an exaggeration. Both of those are sort of exaggerations. And by sort of, I mean they are in fact an exaggeration. But all exaggerations start with truths, Megan will admit freely that she has a tendency to criticize. Virgos are always striving for perfection, so one of their resultant characteristics is that they always notice flaws.
4. Virgos, and Megan, are also known hypochondriacs. A small headache? Obviously a tumor. Tummy ache? Definitely stomach cancer. Read about any outlandish health disorders on the Internet lately? Don’t tell Megan, she will probably suspect she has it. The massive array of medication she has in her room is enough to remedy the masses of most minor illnesses. But don’t blame this neurosis on Megan; it’s just the stars predetermining her personality!
5. Astrologers also attribute direct communication, but also passivity to Virgos. These qualities manifest themselves in Megan through her mode of communication. While when she says something, it is usually relevant and right to the point, it is also usually delivered at a pitch that only dogs can detect. She says what she means, but rarely is her voice asserted at an audible level. I happen to possess what Sam and I call hawk-ears (they’re extremely good at listening) and therefore have the ability to actually detect Megan’s voice…although she is still really good at creeping up behind me while I’m typing. Thanks to all the practice, I think I could probably commune with mice at this point.
6. Virgo women are also known for their lack of ability when it comes to expressing emotions. So usually, I have to wheedle them out of Megan. However, my Taurus/Aries (I say Aries because it is my moon sign) influence may have opened her up a little bit.
7. Virgo children are known for being a little bit of fussy eaters. Since day one, Megan—still very much an impish little child—has embodied this trait. This girl will not, I repeat WILL NOT eat! When she does finally settle on something for dinner, it is usually accompanied with not a side of fries, but complaints rife with malcontent. I may one day resort to the age old technique of pretending the fork is a choo-choo train.
8. Virgos tend to worry quite a bit. Needless to say (then why am I saying it, you ask?) Megan is a worrywart. That is, however, why it is my duty to soothe her worries as well as her other neuroses.
9. The sign of Virgo is often accredited with the role of follower. This, however, is not always Megan. But when it is, it comes in extremely handy for my daily schemes. Whenever I feel like having a moustache day, or Sam and I want to go to Mabee in costume, my little elf Megan is always willing.
10. One attribute that is often seen as a negative is the Virgo’s eccentricity. I, however, find this to be Megan’s most endearing, accommodating, and charming feature. She is so extremely weird, but I love it. When she bursts into my room—jar of bubbles in one hand, sparklers in the other, and an Optimus Prime helmet on her head—I can’t help but think, how did I get so lucky?
Megan, for all the characteristics the sign of Virgo has afforded her, is an extremely fun and clever person. We get on like Jenny and Forrest—peas and carrots style. This can also be explained astrologically, because you see followers, Taurus and Virgo are ideal matches. Virgo + Taurus = extremely awesome. Together, they’re like pickles and ice cream for a pregnant woman. So while Megan has some outlandish behaviors and personality traits (some I felt unable to discuss…no, I will not give hints) she’s still my perfect match and I know the Taurus in me has probably caused her some grief as well.
I hope to have enlightened you, shown you yet another way to explain away life with astrology, and to have acted as your telescope by showing you the stars.
Your stargazer extraordinaire,
Here's my little Megala trussed up in sequins and a mustache at the zoo. Could you ask for someone stranger or more delightful? Also, can you see the crazies in her eyes?