Tuesday, March 23, 2010

March Madness: The results are in

Hello my Astrological Aspirers,

March is almost (but not quite) through, so it’s time for a little analysis and backtracking in order to figure out whether or not the month’s predictions were close to correct. According to the predictions on March 7 I was supposed to spice up the ol’ daily routine with a little spontaneity. My friend Anne drove from Dallas to a friend’s ranch and on the way she stopped through San Antonio. She called, so I left campus and met her at Mi Tierra and was able to meet all of her friends, which was great. I guess in a way that was spontaneous—though there were no shocking reactions provoked. On the tenth I was finally given the time to write my two essays due the next day, so I feverishly began those and pulled an all nighter, though I’m not sure if that would be called starting a new project the right way. As to the spurring on of unconventional ideas and events, there may have been a few—quite enjoyable—but no more than usual, as my life is usually plagued/blessed with unusual events. Oh, and I suppose I did experience some feelings of restlessness. However, they were pretty well taken care of when my friend Jenna and I went on a road trip to Nashville for spring break.

On to Taurus and love for March. According to the predictions I was supposed to feel like retreating from relationships and keeping away from those complicated messes altogether. However, seeing that that is how I usually feel, I don’t see how relevant that prediction was, except that it was correct.

As for my career, I was on Spring Break, doing no work of any kind for the dates allotted by the horoscope. While some of the moods felt were spot on, I really don’t see how a lot of the stuff about careers in this series of predictions was applicable to me Margaret Browne.

All in all though, March was extremely busy and extremely fun. I've had an awesome time during my sorority's orientation and although it's made doing homework a little more stressful, it's been worth it. And spring break was wondrous, driving to Nashville and going to Graceland were so fun and spending so much time with my best friend Jenna was amazing. If I really thought about it (which I am, of course, really thinking about it) I could make a number of events or feelings that occurred throughout the month of March apply to the scenarios posed by the horoscope. I could twist anything into fitting with the design, so here’s the message followers: horoscopes can be fun, but don’t take them too seriously. Especially pay no heed if you’re using them to make important decisions. While I really enjoy a good horoscope, usually predictions are a little useless; I prefer personality trait analysis and the like. I feel like that is much more indicative of a person’s nature and what will happen to them. As to whether or not their personality is determined by the stars, I don’t really know. But I have to say, I’m not so sure that I care anymore. I feel that I just might have outgrown my astrology phase.

The Original Asinine Astrologer,


Here is my beloved friendle Courtney as she sits next to me in study hall. Even though March has been tiring, it was also a frivolous delight. So I guess the end of March finds me now exhausted, but content.

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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

March Madness: and I'm not talking about basketball

Hello my darling followers,

Today I decided to give us a brief change of pace. Usually I discuss horoscopes and astrology more in a general way: discussing personality traits and compatibility. Most of us, however, are more familiar with horoscopes in relation to those daily or monthly predictions for our lives found in teenybopper magazines and cheesy newspapers. So this entry we will be looking at the predictions for Taurus for March. I found these predictions on AOL horoscopes, written by Rick Levine and Jeff Jawer whom according to AOL are well-established and oh so professional. If you would like to look up your own horoscope go to http://horoscopes.aol.com/astrology/astro-forecast.

This March for me, Mademoiselle Taurus:

Your passion is aroused in unexpected ways this month, starting with your ruling planet, Venus, entering independent Aries on March 7 to spice up your social life with spontaneous actions that could provoke shocking reactions. The spirit of risk taking is reinforced when assertive Mars turns direct on March 10 after a twelve-week retrograde cycle that's been keeping you bottled up emotionally and energetically -- this direct turn enables you to get new projects up and running. This uncharacteristic restlessness is fed by the New Moon in Pisces and your 11th House of Groups on March 15: its close conjunction with mentally-active Mercury and electrifying Uranus presents fast-moving surprises with friends or colleagues that spur unconventional ideas and events.

Taurus Love Horoscope for March When You Least Expect It Love planet Venus, ruler of your sign, is moving into your 12th House of Privacy on March 7, which is good for advancing your personal life in quiet, out of the way places. You might also feel like retreating from the complexities of relationships all together, or you could have a harder time getting attention. It's best not to force something at this time -- with this transit it's more likely you'll find connections when you're not trying. Venus hits a rough patch from March 8 to 12 as she faces hard aspects with Saturn and Pluto. These tough planets require focus and intensity to deal with a difficult person or a down mood. Act carefully -- the impact of what you do now could be lasting. The bright light at the end of the tunnel comes when Venus enters your sign on March 31, promising easier times ahead.

Taurus Career Horoscope for March Learning to Adapt Your sweet ruling planet Venus dives into your 12th House of Secrecy from March 7 to March 31, making it more difficult to get attention or earn recognition for your work. The New Moon in your 11th House of Groups on March 15 could shake up a team or bring some radical changes. Mental Mercury's conjunction with inventive Uranus during this New Moon could create even more chaos on the job, yet it's also a chance to take a fresh look at how to work with others. The Sun fires into energetic Aries on March 20, which will put more wind in almost everyone's sails. Moving and thinking faster is likely to become a requirement, but take some time to get away from it all, if you can, to get a broader view of your professional life.

This month has started out as being extremely hectic full of activities and homework galore. However, I feel relatively content and peaceful, although a little bit overtired. So thus far, I’m not seeing a lot of evidence for these predictions. For the remainder of this month, I will be keeping track of my moods, activities, and other such things as I make my way through March. For my next entry, I will give an analysis on how accurate these predictions were, but also on how these predictions affected my outlook for the month. Because we all know astronomy as a well-established and scientific field of study, I’m sure we can expect the most accurate of results. In case you missed it that was the slightest bit of sarcasm.

Your Amateur Astrologer and Horoscope Half-wit,

Margaret Browne

Here I am as you know me now, before March has had a chance to throttle me. We'll see what I look like after all of these predictions have taken their toll.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Hello Once Again Followers,

In this entry I will explain why my suitemate Megan Miller’s behavior is acceptable as a result of her horoscope, Virgo. Here are 10 things that Megan does, but the stars excuse.

1 Megan is constantly obsessing over how clean her room is. Every time her roommate, and my other suitemate, Libby puts something on the floor, Megan waits until about a minute after she leaves before moving it and then vacuuming feverishly. This is easily explained away by the average Virgo’s tendency towards self-perfection. Virgos feel the need to perfect everything around them and also to attain a sense of perfection.

2. Speaking of cleaning, Megan is also very focused on keeping up an appearance of self-cleanliness. Well not only an appearance. She is constantly primping, showering, and applying all sorts of mysterious lotions, creams, and astringents. Her drawers are overloaded with an array of hygiene and cleaning products. She has even told me stories of her own neurotic tendency as a child to stand in front of the mirror and brush her teeth for an hour at a time, multiple times a day. Extreme, I think yes. This sort of focus on attaining cleanliness is but another feature of the Virgoan personality.

3. Megan also has a tendency to be a little critical of others. Others being sometimes me. Maybe not explicitly, but I can see it in her eyes. Also, her scathing criticisms of others may give one the shivers…well, that is sort of an exaggeration. Both of those are sort of exaggerations. And by sort of, I mean they are in fact an exaggeration. But all exaggerations start with truths, Megan will admit freely that she has a tendency to criticize. Virgos are always striving for perfection, so one of their resultant characteristics is that they always notice flaws.

4. Virgos, and Megan, are also known hypochondriacs. A small headache? Obviously a tumor. Tummy ache? Definitely stomach cancer. Read about any outlandish health disorders on the Internet lately? Don’t tell Megan, she will probably suspect she has it. The massive array of medication she has in her room is enough to remedy the masses of most minor illnesses. But don’t blame this neurosis on Megan; it’s just the stars predetermining her personality!

5. Astrologers also attribute direct communication, but also passivity to Virgos. These qualities manifest themselves in Megan through her mode of communication. While when she says something, it is usually relevant and right to the point, it is also usually delivered at a pitch that only dogs can detect. She says what she means, but rarely is her voice asserted at an audible level. I happen to possess what Sam and I call hawk-ears (they’re extremely good at listening) and therefore have the ability to actually detect Megan’s voice…although she is still really good at creeping up behind me while I’m typing. Thanks to all the practice, I think I could probably commune with mice at this point.

6. Virgo women are also known for their lack of ability when it comes to expressing emotions. So usually, I have to wheedle them out of Megan. However, my Taurus/Aries (I say Aries because it is my moon sign) influence may have opened her up a little bit.

7. Virgo children are known for being a little bit of fussy eaters. Since day one, Megan—still very much an impish little child—has embodied this trait. This girl will not, I repeat WILL NOT eat! When she does finally settle on something for dinner, it is usually accompanied with not a side of fries, but complaints rife with malcontent. I may one day resort to the age old technique of pretending the fork is a choo-choo train.

8. Virgos tend to worry quite a bit. Needless to say (then why am I saying it, you ask?) Megan is a worrywart. That is, however, why it is my duty to soothe her worries as well as her other neuroses.

9. The sign of Virgo is often accredited with the role of follower. This, however, is not always Megan. But when it is, it comes in extremely handy for my daily schemes. Whenever I feel like having a moustache day, or Sam and I want to go to Mabee in costume, my little elf Megan is always willing.

10. One attribute that is often seen as a negative is the Virgo’s eccentricity. I, however, find this to be Megan’s most endearing, accommodating, and charming feature. She is so extremely weird, but I love it. When she bursts into my room—jar of bubbles in one hand, sparklers in the other, and an Optimus Prime helmet on her head—I can’t help but think, how did I get so lucky?

Megan, for all the characteristics the sign of Virgo has afforded her, is an extremely fun and clever person. We get on like Jenny and Forrest—peas and carrots style. This can also be explained astrologically, because you see followers, Taurus and Virgo are ideal matches. Virgo + Taurus = extremely awesome. Together, they’re like pickles and ice cream for a pregnant woman. So while Megan has some outlandish behaviors and personality traits (some I felt unable to discuss…no, I will not give hints) she’s still my perfect match and I know the Taurus in me has probably caused her some grief as well.

I hope to have enlightened you, shown you yet another way to explain away life with astrology, and to have acted as your telescope by showing you the stars.

Your stargazer extraordinaire,


Here's my little Megala trussed up in sequins and a mustache at the zoo. Could you ask for someone stranger or more delightful? Also, can you see the crazies in her eyes?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Astrological Affirmation of Sorts

Hello Loyal Followers!!!
And by loyal followers, I of course mean Professor McCollum and you wonderful teacher’s assistants who grade my entries. ANYWHO, it may seem a little too convenient, but I have discovered the reasons why Sam and I, despite our conflicting horoscopes, get along so well. It’s not because of our similar personalities, which may defy astrological reasoning, and it’s not some trivial reason like, “horoscopes are nonsense and have no effect upon your life or your being”. Oh no friends…it is completely justified by the stars. You see, just the other night I was breezing through my suitemate Megan’s (Megan and I are an ideal match, by the way, she is a Virgo) horoscope and zodiac book—which she bought after Sam and I introduced her to the magic of astrology—when I came across something very interesting. Moon signs. One's moon sign is linked with emotion and moods, so while one's sun sign could be Taurus (one possibly being...I don't know, me) and determine their general characteristics, the moon sign would determine their emotions. I guess you could even stretch that and say it might sort of determine the soul of a person. Reading this, as an astrological misfit, I was immediately determined to find my own moon sign. So I went to the handy dandy Internet and googled birth charts. A birth chart is an astrological chart of where all the planets, the moon, and the sun were at your birth. I quickly found a site that calculates birth charts for free, and a few hours later, I had not only calculated my own birth chart and thus my moon sign, but also most of the people I knew by gathering information off of their facebooks...including Miss Samantha Lynn Grubbs. That's another great feature of astrology, it's a supreme time waster and really allows you to feel okay about facebook stalking, so when your roommate asks you why you're on so-and-so's facebook feverishly poring over their profile at 3a.m. you can excuse it by saying, "I'm calculating their birth chart!" But back to my central line of thought, after calculating the birth charts for Sam and myself I found that both of us had several planets that were in line at the time of our birth. According to the charts and the positions of these parallel planets, we were both inventive, talkative, romantic thinkers, stubborn, and had a tendency to be haughty. Also, my moon was in the house of Aries when I was born, making my moods and emotions more compatible with Sam's because Aries is known for being active, inventive, hot-tempered, and passionate. Also according to my birth chart, I am full of contraditions, so the fact that my nature somewhat contradicts my birth sign is just a part of the stars! So although Sam and my sun signs didn't necessarily match up, when getting into the nitty gritty details of astrology, our natures are extremely compatible!

Once again astrology saves the day by explaining away my realities with its fantastical nature.

Your Amateur Astrologer,


If you'd like to calculate your own birth chart, here is the sort of sketchy link I used:

There is Sam lurking in the background as I smile with joy, contemplating the stars and their implications for us lowly humans.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Birth of An Obsession

Hello All!
Welcome to my blog about my newfound obsession (and I try not to use the word obsession lightly), astrology. My interest formed after meeting my roommate, Samantha Grubbs. The first day we met I remember three distinct things: 1) I really liked her sunglasses, 2) Her voice was way higher-pitched than I had expected, and 3) she sincerely believed in astrology. That first night of dinner with her family, my mother, and me, I was informed that she had looked up our signs in order to determine our compatibility: she is an Aquarius and I’m a Taurus. This meant…we were not the ideal match. But even as we discussed our signs and the supposed friction that existed between them, a feeling of camaraderie developed. Her mother talked about how well she and Sam got on when away from the more aggressive horoscope signs of Sam’s dad and sister Alex, and looking at my with an understanding smile said, “I’m a Taurus, too”. Thus far, the supposed negative energy that exists between our signs has been absent from our friendship. We have similar interests, hang out all the time, throw crazy dance parties, perform karaoke duets, truss ourselves up in flamboyant costumes and prance around making videos based off of outlandish plotlines that we co-invent. In summation, we are soul sisters. Sam continued to introduce me to astrology by discussing the signs of friends and family and the ways in which they reflect that person’s nature. The more we read about people’s horoscopes, the more I grew to believe in what the signs were saying. Except, they still didn’t explain why Sam and I were getting along so well. Aquarius fits her to a Tee. Aquarius is a water sign that is known as the sign of nonconformity. It is known for being intellectual, eccentric, innovative, and inventive. The Taurus is an earth sign, known for being well grounded, patient, hesitant, and introverted. While some of this is true, when looking at more detailed descriptions of Taurus, it doesn’t feel like it quite fits. For now, I guess I’m just an astrological misfit. So is there any truth behind horoscopes? And in what way does studying my horoscope help me learn anything of value? Well, I’m not really sure…but for now, I find it fascinating, or rather, quite intriguing and will continue to read up on the horoscopes and their meanings.

Your Amateur Astrologer,

This is a picture of Sam and I during the first week of school. Come on now, have you ever seen two people better suited to be roommates?